restless mind
Another terror attack happened today.
This world is a broken and sad place.
I find myself with a restless mind. I'm not sure that the two are related or if this is just a way the enemy attacks me now and again. Every so often my brain just won't settle down.
When I try to sleep, it's a struggle.
When sleep comes, it's filled with vivid dreams and is restless.
My mind won't seem to stop.
I need noise, voices, music, my phone, words to read. Anything I can find to occupy my mind.
I'm not necessarily worrying, or anxious, just filled with so many thoughts. So many things to consider. So much knowledge to obtain wether useful or useless.
In these times, sleep feels like a waste.
I often wonder what other people would think on these days, if they could come how crawl into my mind. I have a ridiculous memory, I think creatively, I observe things keenly. My brain is always going. Sometimes I can't keep up with it.
I have gone so far at times to wonder if I am crazy or maybe on the spectrum somewhere. I am learning to realize that this restless, constantly churning mind, is both my greatest blessing and my greatest curse.
It is hard to take all these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. The enemy attacks me so swiftly through my mind.
On the other hand, it is a powerful weapon. My mind allows me to create. It helps me be caring and good at my job. My quick recall allows me to do things like greet the majority of my NUMEROUS clients by their name.
But it's a slow fade into occupying my mind with distractions. Recently the Lord called me to have a time away from those types of distractions, like everything else, I attempted obedience and gave it in an imperfect way. The end of that commitment came and it was like I needed to make up for lost time. I needed to flood my mind with all the noise and distraction it had been "missing."
As I read news articles tonight I was reminded that I wasn't really "missing" much of anything. The world is broken. The things we value are really of very little value. Yet, I FILL my mind with those things until it is spinning and spiraling all the time.
My brain doesn't need any help or distraction to run. It does just fine all your itself. It does however need to be led and filled with good things.
I need to make the effort every single day to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
For me, with the sheer amount that runs through my brain, this is no small feet.
I know however that the Lord desires that I be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Instead of a restless mind, I want to have a settled mind.
A mind settled totally and completely on Christ.
This world is a broken and sad place.
I find myself with a restless mind. I'm not sure that the two are related or if this is just a way the enemy attacks me now and again. Every so often my brain just won't settle down.
When I try to sleep, it's a struggle.
When sleep comes, it's filled with vivid dreams and is restless.
My mind won't seem to stop.
I need noise, voices, music, my phone, words to read. Anything I can find to occupy my mind.
I'm not necessarily worrying, or anxious, just filled with so many thoughts. So many things to consider. So much knowledge to obtain wether useful or useless.
In these times, sleep feels like a waste.
I often wonder what other people would think on these days, if they could come how crawl into my mind. I have a ridiculous memory, I think creatively, I observe things keenly. My brain is always going. Sometimes I can't keep up with it.
I have gone so far at times to wonder if I am crazy or maybe on the spectrum somewhere. I am learning to realize that this restless, constantly churning mind, is both my greatest blessing and my greatest curse.
It is hard to take all these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. The enemy attacks me so swiftly through my mind.
On the other hand, it is a powerful weapon. My mind allows me to create. It helps me be caring and good at my job. My quick recall allows me to do things like greet the majority of my NUMEROUS clients by their name.
But it's a slow fade into occupying my mind with distractions. Recently the Lord called me to have a time away from those types of distractions, like everything else, I attempted obedience and gave it in an imperfect way. The end of that commitment came and it was like I needed to make up for lost time. I needed to flood my mind with all the noise and distraction it had been "missing."
As I read news articles tonight I was reminded that I wasn't really "missing" much of anything. The world is broken. The things we value are really of very little value. Yet, I FILL my mind with those things until it is spinning and spiraling all the time.
My brain doesn't need any help or distraction to run. It does just fine all your itself. It does however need to be led and filled with good things.
I need to make the effort every single day to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
For me, with the sheer amount that runs through my brain, this is no small feet.
I know however that the Lord desires that I be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Instead of a restless mind, I want to have a settled mind.
A mind settled totally and completely on Christ.
Comments
Post a Comment