my first New Year's Eve alone
It's 9:00pm New Year's Eve. Most people are just getting ready to get their fun on.
Honestly, over the years New Year's Eve has been a pretty anticlimactic affair. I've never been kissed at midnight. I don't party really so there isn't much for me in that. Some years I have rung in the new year with clients standing at the door of the mission watching the downtown fireworks light up the sky. I even remember ringing in a new year doing a puzzle with some friends one year.
Like I said, New Years has never held much for me.
Tonight I am home alone.
I watched a movie and ate some soup and a gluten free banana muffin for dinner. I splurged just a little and put some butter on my stove top popcorn and watched a movie. I did a facial mask and relaxed. I just now crawled into my bed, I plan to spend sometime reading and reflecting in the last few hours of the new year.
I may or may not be awake when it rings in.
As I resolved myself to what this New Year's Eve would look like I realized that it was one of a handful that I have spent totally and completely by myself.
It made me smile thinking of the very first one I spent alone.
It was my senior year of high school. I was supposed to go out with friends and my mom ruined my life. I couldn't locate my wallet/drivers license and my mom refused to let me leave the house. The friends I was supposed to hang out with didn't have cars and couldn't come and get me so, I was stuck. All of my plans down the drain and I found myself, for the first time, all alone in the basement of my parents house watching TV.
I was so upset.
But ya know what? I look back on that night as one of my favorite New Years Eves of my life.
I don't think that I have told you any stories yet on this blog about my friend Scot.
Scot and I were really close friends my senior year of high school. He lived in Wisconsin and his life was rather different. He had grown up in a home with no phone.
We had met that year because his mom got really sick with cancer and he came to stay the summer with his sister Ryan who was my youth leader at church. We became fast friends.
When he went home, we stayed in touch through letters until one day, he sent me a letter with a phone number. His dad had gotten him a cell phone because he was always up at the hospital with his mom.
We had one phone conversation and the same evening, his mother passed away.
We talked again on Christmas Eve and then our last chat before his dad got rid of the phone was on New Year's Eve.
I was so sad all alone in the basement by myself until Scot called.
I didn't ring in the new year alone.
We talked for hours ringing in my new year and his. (Eastern standard and central time)
I couldn't tell you what we talked about.
Silly things mostly, I'm sure. Some serious things as he was processing the loss of his mom.
What started out as a horrible night turned into one I will always look back on with deep fondness.
I could spend this evening with Scot, it's a short walk to where he is, physically. Although to reach where he really is would take divine intervention. You see, he is buried in the cemetery next to my house. He has been there for 11 years now.
But it occurred to me as this memory came to me earlier today while I made plans to ring the new year in quietly, Scot and I are not ringing in the new year in such a different way.
We are both spending time in the presence of the Lord.
I would give anything to be able to call him tonight, I'd ask him the question that flew through my mind on an early morning in July when the broken words of my mother finally came clear in my mind.
"Linda, something terrible happened. Scot was killed in an accident last night."
I will never forget my first thought when her words finally registered. It was a question for Scot.
"What is it like?"
Heaven became so real to me that day.
As I reflect on years gone by and the year to come, I want to do so with a heart set on my eternity. I want everything I do to to render value in the kingdom of God.
When I finally ring in another new year with Scot I want to do so knowing full well that I have done my best, I have cross the finish line and finished my race strong.
Life is short.
Each year passes more quickly than the last.
I want each new day and each new year that I am given to be lived well.
So tonight, I will ring in the new year in stillness, fixing my eyes on Jesus and what He has in store for the year to come.
Happy New Year friends!
Honestly, over the years New Year's Eve has been a pretty anticlimactic affair. I've never been kissed at midnight. I don't party really so there isn't much for me in that. Some years I have rung in the new year with clients standing at the door of the mission watching the downtown fireworks light up the sky. I even remember ringing in a new year doing a puzzle with some friends one year.
Like I said, New Years has never held much for me.
Tonight I am home alone.
I watched a movie and ate some soup and a gluten free banana muffin for dinner. I splurged just a little and put some butter on my stove top popcorn and watched a movie. I did a facial mask and relaxed. I just now crawled into my bed, I plan to spend sometime reading and reflecting in the last few hours of the new year.
I may or may not be awake when it rings in.
As I resolved myself to what this New Year's Eve would look like I realized that it was one of a handful that I have spent totally and completely by myself.
It made me smile thinking of the very first one I spent alone.
It was my senior year of high school. I was supposed to go out with friends and my mom ruined my life. I couldn't locate my wallet/drivers license and my mom refused to let me leave the house. The friends I was supposed to hang out with didn't have cars and couldn't come and get me so, I was stuck. All of my plans down the drain and I found myself, for the first time, all alone in the basement of my parents house watching TV.
I was so upset.
But ya know what? I look back on that night as one of my favorite New Years Eves of my life.
I don't think that I have told you any stories yet on this blog about my friend Scot.
Scot and I were really close friends my senior year of high school. He lived in Wisconsin and his life was rather different. He had grown up in a home with no phone.
We had met that year because his mom got really sick with cancer and he came to stay the summer with his sister Ryan who was my youth leader at church. We became fast friends.
When he went home, we stayed in touch through letters until one day, he sent me a letter with a phone number. His dad had gotten him a cell phone because he was always up at the hospital with his mom.
We had one phone conversation and the same evening, his mother passed away.
We talked again on Christmas Eve and then our last chat before his dad got rid of the phone was on New Year's Eve.
I was so sad all alone in the basement by myself until Scot called.
I didn't ring in the new year alone.
We talked for hours ringing in my new year and his. (Eastern standard and central time)
I couldn't tell you what we talked about.
Silly things mostly, I'm sure. Some serious things as he was processing the loss of his mom.
What started out as a horrible night turned into one I will always look back on with deep fondness.
I could spend this evening with Scot, it's a short walk to where he is, physically. Although to reach where he really is would take divine intervention. You see, he is buried in the cemetery next to my house. He has been there for 11 years now.
But it occurred to me as this memory came to me earlier today while I made plans to ring the new year in quietly, Scot and I are not ringing in the new year in such a different way.
We are both spending time in the presence of the Lord.
I would give anything to be able to call him tonight, I'd ask him the question that flew through my mind on an early morning in July when the broken words of my mother finally came clear in my mind.
"Linda, something terrible happened. Scot was killed in an accident last night."
I will never forget my first thought when her words finally registered. It was a question for Scot.
"What is it like?"
Heaven became so real to me that day.
As I reflect on years gone by and the year to come, I want to do so with a heart set on my eternity. I want everything I do to to render value in the kingdom of God.
When I finally ring in another new year with Scot I want to do so knowing full well that I have done my best, I have cross the finish line and finished my race strong.
Life is short.
Each year passes more quickly than the last.
I want each new day and each new year that I am given to be lived well.
So tonight, I will ring in the new year in stillness, fixing my eyes on Jesus and what He has in store for the year to come.
Happy New Year friends!
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