practice makes patience

I have often had the thought drift through my head that I don't think people can really truly know me. Not all of me anyway. The reason for this thought is that I cannot help but think, unless a person has seen me in my work environment, there is a massive piece of the Linda puzzle missing from view. 

My job...is something else all together. 

It is genuinely the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.

It is also the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life.

I can tell stories. I can write. I can try to paint a picture in your mind of what an average day at the shelter consists of. All of those things, however, would fall flat in giving you a clear idea of this part of my world.

As I was working particularly challenging shift the other day, a thought suddenly danced through my head and set me into actual, real deal, out loud laughter.

The thought was of a younger Linda. One who NEVER would have imagined her life would be what it is today. One who was deeply "spiritual" or so she thought. 

In high school I faithfully attended a Wednesday night Bible study. At the end of each lesson we would go around and take prayer requests. As I worked the image of this oh so "spiritual" high school version of Linda giving her prayer requests came back to my mind.

I recalled that when I didn't have anything of great importance to pray for I would sigh heavily and say, 

"Just pray for patience I guess."

I'm laughing out loud again just conjuring up the thought.

I cannot remember what terrible high school struggle had me oh so impatient, but if I could talk to that version of Linda now I would say, 

"Knock it off you whiner...stop asking for that! Don't you know the Lord isn't just going go 'poof' and make you some deeply patient person? He is going to give you opportunities to practice patience!"

And HOW...

No one will every be able to convince me that God doesn't here and answer ALL of our prayers in some way. Even the shallow, insincere requests of a ridiculous high schooler.

Years later I cannot help but chuckle and be grateful for all the ways the Lord has allowed me to learn patience through practice.

As a single 33 year old I have had ample time to practice patience waiting on the Lord for a spouse.

I have been able to practice patience in my walk with my purity.

As someone who struggles with their weight I am able to practice patience as I eat healthy and workout but see very slow results.

Every single day on my job I have chances to practice patience. Sometimes I pass the challenge with flying colors. Somedays...(like today) I stand up mid-meeting and say, "I can't keep having this conversation...We have to be done," because all of my patience has left me.

Even when I fail the Lord is shaping and refining me. It doesn't matter if I am pushing a client in a wheel chair, serving children lunch, or trying to set a budget with a client who thinks "only a fool would save their money," The Lord continues to challenge me everyday to be patient.

I had no idea when I prayed that over and over as a girl, what my life would look like now. But I am grateful to that foolish little girl. I am grateful that, even though I am not there yet in any way shape or form, I am daily given opportunity after opportunity to practice patience.

After all, how patient is my Father in heaven toward me. How can I be any less patient with Him, His plans and His children.

So today as I give thanks I cannot help but think of the statement that people say sometimes.

It's not practice makes perfect, it's PERFECT practice makes perfect.

I will NEVER perfectly practice patience. Not like my Savior does.

But I will practice by remaining steadfast to the journey He has places me on. 

I will practice by showing up each day to run even if I don't get faster or thinner and I can't run further. 

I will show up everyday by putting healthy food in my mouth and pushing away the junk. I will practice everyday but fixing my eyes on Jesus and no other relationship. 

I will practice everyday by actively choosing to love those that the world says are unloveable. Even if they offend me, attack me, berate me, and belittle me, I will keep digging into my Lord who loves me so that I can come back and love them well.

Practice, practice, practice...