playing the part

Today is Halloween.

Let me just take a moment to share some auntie pride for a second and show you a picture of my cute little niece and nephew in their costumes.

I'm dying. The cuteness is too much to even take in.

The reason that I am so overwhelmed is not simply because they are so cute (I mean thats just obvious.) The thing that I find so precious is the reasoning behind both costumes.

Let me just take a moment to introduce you to these little peanuts. They are my brother's children (and my lovely sister in law of course) Daniel and Gracelyn.

Danny the little stud there on the left is five years old. He is nothing if not a character. Last spring at preschool they did a study that I believe was about sharks. From this point on Daniel has become genuinely obsessed with sea creatures. 

I mean, we took him to the Shedd Aquarium this year and he didn't even want to stop for gas or to use the bathroom because he was THAT excited to get there. 

We frequently play games of "Name the Sea Creature" and he regularly beats me at it. He knows all about blob fish, whale sharks, beluga whales and all manner of other sea animals. He, of course. has a deep obsession with Finding Nemo AND Finding Dory. He has even gone so far as to tell me that when he grows up he wants to be a marine biologist.

Ok...enough gushing about the scuba diver/sea explorer. Let me move on the the teddy bear on the right.

Sweet little Gracie girl has a mind of her own. She is two years old and is full of whimsy. She is ALMOST always smiling but when she is not...look out.

Like I said, she has a mind of her own. She knows what she wants and she is as stubborn as a grown man. When her parents were trying to switch her from a bottle to a sippy cup, she flat refused to drink ANYTHING because she wanted her bottle. We are talking an 18 month old hunger strike of sorts. (Don't worry they didn't starve her.) 

Her very favorite thing at this point in life is her, "Corduroy Bear." She LOVES Corduroy. She loves to read the book and she carries the stuffed bear all around.

Now I know I have been gushing about these precious children but I actually DO have a point.

The reason that I love their costumes so much, is because they are so "them."

At this stage in their life, these costumes represent some of the things they love most.

Yes, they are in costume.

Yes, they are playing a part. But it is a part that means something to them and shows who they really are.

As I looked at these pictures and smiled at the authenticity of these costumes I couldn't help but think about the parts that I play in this life. 

How often do we wander through life taking on a character that really isn't "us" in an attempt to please the people around us?

Maybe we want to be thought of as spiritual by the people at church. Maybe we dress ourselves a certain way or do our hair and make up just right because we hope to be noticed by someone of the opposite sex. Perhaps we take on interests in an attempt to fit in with a group of people we think are "cool" because we hope that in doing so we will be accepted into their group.

Did you ever watch the movie "Runaway Bride" about the girl who runs out on three different fiance's at the alter? The plot of the film is that a man from the big city comes to write a story on this small town heart breaker. He interviews all of her ex-intendeds and asks them lots of questions. In each interview however, he asks one odd question.

"How did she eat her eggs?"

This seems odd but it reveals a fatal flaw. With one man it was fried, with the next it was Benedict and with the last it was scrambled, egg whites only. (Or something of that nature, its been a while since I watched it.)

The point he was proving was that all of these relationships failed because she didn't know who she was.

So, my gratitude for the day is this.

I am grateful that, even though at 33 I still struggle with trying to "play the part",  the Lord is opening my eyes and giving me freedom to embrace who I am in Him and NOT who other's say I am or want me to be.

I am still a long way from figuring this all out, but I am grateful to have this focused time to do it.

I want to take a cue from my cute niece and nephew. I want to embrace what I am passionate about. I want to be a person who surrounds myself with the things that I love, unapologetically. I want to own up to the things that others may see as flaws or just weird and embrace them as the person that I am.

I'm not saying that I wont continue to grow, refine myself and work on actual issues of sin. Quite the opposite in fact. I want to continue a path of toward playing exactly the role that the Lord planned for me to play all along...

ME.