all the things...

Today is exactly 30 days from thanksgiving. 

Over the last 30 odd days I have done a lot of personal reflection. I have taken time to consider where I am strong and where I fall short. (Although I am VERY certain much more will be revealed over the next 349 days.) Something that has surfaced over and over is a struggle for contentment in every area of my life.

When I talk about contentment the common most minds leap is to my singleness. While I agree that is very important, I am realizing there are many areas that I need to strive to be content.

The overarching theme of this is simply finding my contentment in Christ.

Yesterday, I wrote about envy. I talked about how I am coming to realize that this has been a butter seed growing in my heart for far too long. The Lord longs to break the bonds of my jealousy by satisfying my desires.

I feel like that goes hand and hand with the idea of gratitude. With this in mind I have decided to go on a little journey within this journey.

A journey of gratitude. 

For the next 30 days, until thanksgiving day my posts are going to center around things that I am grateful for. Now, I want to warn you, this will not look much like those "November" Facebook statuses about all the things people are thankful for. While I think those are awesome, I believe that the Lord is calling me to find gratitude in more difficult areas of my life.

Yes I am grateful for my friends, my family, my job, a home...etc...you get the point...

I think the Lord is asking me to dig deep into "all the things" and find ways to rejoice and be glad. 

I want to learn how to be grateful for the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy, the amazing, the miraculous, the difficult, the depressing...like I said, 'all the things."

So with that in mind, just very quickly at the start of this 30 days, I want to say that I am grateful for this 33 journey.

I could never begin to fully explain all that is happening in my heart so far but I know that God is moving and shaping me. 

I am grateful that he is calling me to tis 30 day journey within the journey to take time to celebrate and have gratitude for things that I might normally harbor bitterness about. I have said so often to so may others that nothing is wasted. 

It's easy to believe that for someone else but much harder to believe for yourself. I have spent way to long believe that I, myself might be wasted.

I have thought that I wasted years being someone that I don't want to be. I have wasted opportunities to love and be loved. I have blown chances to serve people the way I am supposed to and on and on until I feel utterly obsolete.

The Lord is opening my eyes to so many new things and I am so grateful.

Ok so this gratitude post was a little light...look out, the tougher ones are coming.

I know that Jesus is digging deep into this messy heart of my to show me all the things He desires me to see and all the ways He desires me to praise Him for those things. 

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