best laid plans

Today is actually a little bit of a milestone for me.

Four weeks ago today (Monday, September 26th) was when I started the first broken efforts that were the beginning of this year long journey.

Five days after that, I started this blog to meet my "write" goal and the rest is history...just kidding.

Even though, when I weighed myself again this morning, the scale showed me numbers that didn't encourage me, I wasn't discouraged either. I may not have dropped massive amounts of weight, but I have learned and gained more than I can even explain and I am only beginning to scratch the surface.

Today, as I entered into the second month of this, I knew the Lord was calling me deeper.

I sat down last night and made some lists. I formulated plans and scheduled how I could really make this happen and dig in deep.

HA.

Life has a funny way of ruining our plans.

No spreadsheet or list, no calendar or schedule can predict all the things that may come at you to knock you off course.

This blog goes out the everyone who had one of THOSE days...Some of you girls know exactly who I am talking about.

Perhaps today you didn't make it to the gym because you had an unexpected visitor, a fight with your hubby and a raging migraine as the cherry on top.

Perhaps today you were the one who after working, going to your grandpa's funeral, having parent teacher conferences and a sick child, ran late and made your friends miss the movie you all had planned to see.

Or maybe you were like me...

Today wasn't really a bad day, but I had thought of how I wanted it to go.

I was going to get home from work on time, lace my shoes, victoriously run a long run and commence my evening activities. 

By the time I got home from work I couldn't think straight. I was a.) hungry b.) sooooooo tired. 

I hate to eat before I run, it makes me want to puke. So I took a gander at my schedule, swapped for a slightly shorter run, grabbed a couple pieces of turkey bacon and went to rest. 

After about a 45 minute nap...whoops, I was thinking more like 15... I LEPT out of my bed, threw on my gear and headed out to run. I was now pressed for time and would just barely have time to scarf some more food and to make my first evening commitment.

I was just shy of a mile in when something that almost NEVER happens to me, happened to me.

I got a cramp.

It was an intense cramp, one of the worst I've ever had.

Now you should know, I have a few rules for myself when I run a race. The very first one is the one you need to know.

Rule 1: JUST keep running...Run as slow as you have to, but do not walk. 

As I winced in pain, I found myself with a quandary. My run wasn't complete, I had just hit a mile but I quite a bit more to go. I couldn't stop. Another layer of this quandary was that if I stopped running and walked, I wouldn't have time to get the mileage in AND eat. I was hungry.

After pushing for a little bit I found myself with no choice. I slowed down to a walk. 

Now for some people, the pace I run is probably a walk to begin with, but this is not something I would usually ever do. So I staggered some running and walking to get myself home.

Once I was home, I found myself still with the issue of limited time, hunger and unfinished mileage.

This is where I learned a valuable lesson.

Sometimes, there is grace in the broken effort of a plan B.

For me tonight that meant pausing my "run" for 2.5 minutes, zipping into the house and warming some "meal prepped" turkey zucchini meatballs, putting them in a disposable bowl and eating them with a plastic fork while walking the church parking lot next to my house to make up the mileage. 

There is a part of me that reads that and thinks...wow, what an utter failure.

There is a bigger part of me that wants to tell that other part of me to SHUT IT!

Guess what? I am not perfect. Not everyday is going to go the way I plan it and that is ok. There was something beautiful to me as I walked those laps munching little bowl of meatballs. 

Was I setting a new record time for my 5k? Nope. Was I moving forward? Yup, I sure was.

Not everyday is going to be a "win."

But that doesn't mean there aren't little victories everyday.

Perhaps today you didn't need to go to the gym, because it was more important for you to sit and receive some encouragement and affirmation from your out of town guest.

Perhaps you and your girlfriends missed the movie you planned to see. Maybe you all just needed an evening of laughter, Mexican food and sprinkles donuts.

Sometimes when we let go of the way we think things are supposed to be and embrace things the way they are we can see the gift the Lord has been offering us all along.

Maybe its rest, or grace. Maybe its laughter or encouragement. Maybe it's fellowship or even solitude.

Whatever it is trust that sometimes your plan B was God's plan A all along, you were just too busy to see it. Even in His holy perfection, He uses our weakness to bring Himself glory. Don't wallow in weakness, keep pushing forward, but don't be afraid if your version of forward is not what you expected.

Maybe forward is a month of obedience to health and fitness without any visible signs of change. That ok, God is working.

Maybe forward is walking laps around a parking lot eating meatballs. He is working there too.

Let's not underestimate God, maybe our plan Z is exactly the place He wanted us to get to in the first place. Like I always say, "Nothing is wasted in the hands of the Savior."

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8