he is jealous for me...

In the period of time that I have spent over the last 30 odd days traipsing through a bit of desert with the Israelite people in the Old Testament, something has occurred to me.

The Lord describes His power to the reader over and over. The Word talks about His authority over all of creation. He shows Himself to be a generous and a good provider. It says repeatedly that He worked for the people of Israel with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. He reaches out to us.

God is mighty.
God is holy.
God is good.

Because all of this is true God deserves our unwavering devotion.

In fact, He is jealous for it. He even goes so far, in Exodus 34, as to describe Himself as “the Lord, whose name is jealous…”

Jealousy is a strange thing.

When I googled the definition of jealous this was the first thing that popped up:
jeal·ous·         feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
·         feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.
·         fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions.
 
It seems odd to think of the Lord being jealous.

God is perfect.

Jealousy is sin.

How can God be jealous?

Here is the thing that the Lord has been revealing to me so far along this road. The Lord’s jealousy is actually directly affected by and tied to ours.

I have suffered with a low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness most of my adult life. The Lord has been showing me that so much of that has to do with envy that I am harboring in my heart.

The very fact that I feel unworthy is because I am holding myself up to the world's standard of “normal” instead of listening to what He has to say about me. I look at other people, magazines, movies, social media, TV and see people who have all the things that I believe I should have. They have all the things I want.

I see all of these people with perfect bodies, perfect families, great fashion sense, the latest technology, nice cars, beautiful homes, the ability to jet set and visit all the places I would like to go. Instead of rejoicing for their good fortune or taking time to see that not everything is as perfect as it seems, I have filed it away in my heart under the “person I will never be” file. As I do this, I have allowed a seed of envy to grow very large in my heart, disguising itself as low self-esteem. The worst part is that our society feeds this as a norm. Our hearts and minds are being constantly pumped with a mantra of "more, more, more" and never one of simplicity, joy and satisfaction.

In my life however, I need call a spade a spade.

Yes, I may feel unworthy 
and I may struggle with low self-esteem, 
but it is all because of a bitter envy 
that I have harbored in my heart. 

I have been too blind to even realize the intense hold that it has over my life.This comparison, this ENVY, the JEALOUSY left unchecked will do nothing but leave me a broken, unsatisfied and very bitter person.

I don’t want to be that person.

When people see me, I don’t want them to see everything I think I am not. I want them to see everything I am. I want them to see everything good that God created in me. More than that, I want them to see the power of God at work in me despite my brokenness, sinfulness and general unworthiness. 

This is why I said before that I believe the Lord’s jealousy is directly connected to ours.

When we seek satisfaction from things besides him, it stirs up a righteous jealousy in the Lord. Just like with the Israelites, the Lord is fully capable of supplying all of our needs in a rather brilliant fashion while protectiing us from ourselves and the thinks we believe we want. 

I am slowly but surely learning, if you want to stop the root of jealousy in your life, stop the root of jealousy you are producing in the Lord.

Let your focus be on Him. He knows what you need before you even do. Set your heart on Him alone and trust Him with it. It may not come the way you think, but He will not disappoint.  After all…

God is mighty.
God is holy.
God is good.

He is jealous for me…

From this day forward I want to try to lay down my own jealousy and find my satisfaction in Christ.

Will you join me?


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