weakness

I was challenged with a thought today that I cannot seem to escape. It's this.

I. Hate. Weakness in myself.

I tend to wind up in one or two places when it comes to my personal weakness. I either kill myself trying to conquer the situation or I beat myself up over and over for my failure. I am simply not ok with personal weakness.

This most likely comes from a role I have accepted to be my own. That role is workhorse. I'm the get it done girl. I'm sorta like Vanilla Ice, "if you got a problem, YO I'll solve it."

I frequently find myself making the statement..."I GOT this."

But I don't always have it or the price of taking care of it costs me rest, relationship or potentially even robs someone else of an opportunity to take that role and shine. But if I can't juggle all the balls, if I can't keep everything clipping along the way it should, then I am weak and that is simply failure.

I find this in other areas of my life too. If I screw up and give into temptation on my diet, like when you go to the Mexican place and order a taco salad, no chips and then they put a bag in the bag anyway I and I eat half of them. Then I spiral to a place of self deprivation over my failure. 

It's a vicious cycle but what is boils down to is, I hate weakness. 

But the Lord says that this isn't a great approach. He says that we should boast in our weakness.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I think a lot of times we read the first part about God's grace being sufficient but skip the ready. His power is made perfect in our weakness. He kinda likes when we "can't do it." Because He is the one accomplishing all things in the first place. When we glory in our weakness we also glory in the power of God. That is a place we need to find ourselves. 

Knowing full well that we are weak with. Irving good to offer but still walking confidently because we know who accomplishes all things in us. 


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