brain tired

"Miss Linda!!....have you seen the person who stole my purse?"

"It's in your hand, my dear."

"Miss Linda!!...I think that man over there is following me."

"No, he works here, he is security guard it's his job to walk around."

"Miss Linda!!!...that lady this morning offered me some gum...I should have taken that gum...do you have any gum?"

"No I do not."

"Do you know where I could get some gun? I really want some gum."

"No I do not know where we could get some gum, this is a doctors office."

"Miss Linda!!!...did you see me take that alcohol wipe and then put it back?"

"Yes I did."

"Why did I do that? Why did I put it back?"

"I don't know."

"I should have kept it...do you have any alcohol wipes."

"No I do not."

"Can you get me one?"

"I don't have any."

"I really wish I had an alcohol wipe."

"I know you do, I am sorry. I don't have any for you."

"That's ok. I don't know why I put it back Miss Linda"

You maybe thinking, "what is Linda writing about today?" I'm writing about my day. Actually, basically every day. I have a particular client who, every time I pass her by she yells, "Miss Linda!!!!" As though she has something of dire importance to tell me. 9 times out of 10 I stop and say, "Yes (Name of said client that I won't share for confidentiality reasons)?"

She usually follows it with something like "Why is there a police man in the back room?" Now, you should know, there is usually know police man in the back room. Like a lot of my clients, this one really struggles with her mental state. 

Yesterday, I took her to the doctor. It was the biggest break through I ever had with her. I was able to start down the road of perhaps getting her the help that she need for her struggle. 

As a result, I spent close to four hours of one on one time with her in the waiting room to see the doctor, in the room with the doctor. We sat n the waiting room for her lab draw and in the lab draw. Finally, waiting to get her prescription. 

I'm going to be honest, even though I sat in waiting rooms most of the day, I came home UTTERLY EXHAUSTED. Because for nearly four hours, nonstop, she talked to me. Everything you read above were direct quotes from my day and they BARELY scratch the surface. 

I came home last night and had an activity to attend, I went and then came home and collapsed. I was brain tired. My mind had RACED all day trying to keep my agitated friend calm and happy in an environment that was very stressful to her. 

As I was crashing last night it occurred to me how weary she must be everyday. I don't know her story. I can't piece it all together from the things she spews at me. I don't know what lead her to be homeless and confused all the time. I do know that spending four hours with her, though it COMPLETELY wore me out, was a good reminder for me. It restored some of my compassion not just for her but for all my clients. And it made me want to fight daily to renew my mind. 

The enemy wants us to be like my friend, confused, anxious and miserable. Last night, my brain was tired. It needed rest, rest from sleep and rest from all the noise. Rest in God's word. 

I pray now for my little friend whose brain must be EXHAUSTED, that she would be able to come out of her fog and experience the full life God has for her.