silver linings.

There's a song that came out several years ago that says,
What if His blessing come through raindrops?
What if His healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know your near?
What if my daily disappointments, or the aching of this life,
is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
What if trials of this life,
the rain the storms the hardest parts,
are Your mercies in disguise.
As I chattered with my coworker today about running, it occurred to me that for several Wednesdays in a row now, I have run in the rain.

It seems that whenever I have a tiny window to squeeze my run, on one of the fuller days of my week, it always manages to rain.

Once it was a TORRENTIAL downpour. Last week it was very nearly sleet, bitter, windy, cold and miserable.

Today, I couldn't even bring myself to run during my normal window. I came home and crashed. I mean in bed, in a ball, wiped out, no longer conscious...CRASHED. Ever since my mono, a while back, when I get even a touch of sickness. I get EXHAUSTED. This is incredibly frustrating to me because I have, for many years, not been a person who requires much sleep.

I know that the Lord is trying to slow me down. I know that just like the Israelites He wants my whole heart and the only way that can happen is if I slow down, be still and listen.

I'll admit, today between the headache, the body ache, the overwhelming weariness and everything else I felt utterly helpless. Tears happened more than once today and I really wasn't sure I would make it through even one mile.

Tonight, in the dark, as I laced up to go run a mile of laps around the church parking lot...it began to rain.

This rain wasn't torrential or bitterly cold. It was warm, gentle and soothing as I ran. It was so calming and peaceful, for a few moments as I ran. Though it wasn't a new mile record, though I didn't run a ton of miles, at the end...I felt strong. Sure, my head was pounding and my legs ached but yet again, for another day, I had done what I set out to do.

After several weeks of being a goal crusher, this last week of barely getting by has been really hard for me. I'm sick of feeling crappy. I'm sick of my stupid body thinking I need more rest than I think I need. I am sick of wanting to push harder but not being able too.

But I have said it before and I'll say it again, I know that nothing is wasted.

So although it seems like a tiny storm has settled in to knock me off my game, there are a few things I know for sure.

I know that this, in view of the grand scheme of life is very small. I haven't been blinded. I have use of my arms and legs. I am not on chemotherapy or dialysis. In the bigger picture I am very blessed.

I also know that if God is for you than nothing and no one can ever be against you. I know that if He brings you to it, He will being you through it. It may not look the way you think or have the results you expected, but His will WILL be done.

Last, I know that He is good. His will is good. Even when you walk through a little storm, He will shower you with little mercies.

Just like tonight as I ran. I had DREADED the run and resented the rain, but it was refreshing and it was just what I needed.

I'm thankful that my Lord brings little silver linings to our cloudy skies. He can't help it. We are His children and He loves us so.

Just like that song said at the beginning, sometimes His blessings are in the raindrops. Sometimes His mercy is disguised...but its there...in the silver linings

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