better than me

I have a few things to say today before I dive in, just as a preface.

1. I am overweight and out of shape
2. It is cold.
3. I have a cold.
4. Almost all colds settle into my lungs
5. I HATE running in the cold
6. It hurts my lungs.
7. I have a gym membership
8. I almost never use it.
9. I live near a pretty decent size university.
10. That means my town and gym are FULL of college students

Ok. Let's dive in.

I'll be real. The gym isn't my favorite place.

Tonight as I strolled in after several months of blissful running out of doors and home workout videos, I was reminded of why. Aside from one mom strolling on a treadmill in mom jeans and a fellow whose bear belly was hanging over top his ball shorts, I was easily the most out of shape person in the joint.

This makes me feel incredibly insecure and insignificant. I struggle massively with my identity as it is.

When I go to a place where I am surrounded by young, muscle bound bros and their bouncy tan skimpily clad female counter parts I want to curl up and disappear. They are lifting heavy things, bouncing up and down on ellipticals and all sorts of other intimidating things. I'm just over here gasping for air on a treadmill running a slow mile or two because I told Jesus that I would.

(I mean that literally...I am here right now, writing this blog from a treadmill.

















Don't worry I'm not running...just a nice cool down stroll.)

I'll be honest, as I look around the enemy is SHOUTING, "Everyone here is better than you."

But here is the thing, tonight, I'm grateful for people who are better than me.

People who are better than me, push me to be better. They inspire me. They may be better at working out, but they are not more significant. Perhaps I sing better than them, or am way better at conflict resolution. Who know! But it doesn't even really matter.

Tonight I am reclaiming the thought of people are "better than me" and making it obedient to Christ. It's about humbling myself to see past my pride and insecurities and seeing as the Lord see.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

As I look around this gym, my spirit tells me that it is full of heartaches and struggles, insecurities and unresolved issues. I will not waste my time feeling jealous or petty that someone is more beautiful or fit than I am when that very person may be hurting and in need of prayers or encouragement. Who knows maybe seeing an older gal who is massively out of shape run her miles day after day will inspire them!

Tonight I am strolling, blogging on my phone and smiling creepily as the Lord does what He does best.

Redeems.

He has taken some messiness in my heart and used it to teach me something valuable in a whole new way.

Tonight cold and my cold drove me to a place I didn't want to go, surrounded by people I didn't want to see and yet, not only did I reach my goal and walk in obedience, the Lord opened my eyes and my heart.

I'm grateful.




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