eulogy

I have a little confession. 

I find funerals a bit intimidating.

It's not because I am afraid or uncomfortable with death, I really am not. What I find intimidating is the eulogy. Have you ever noticed that every person who dies was the most amazing person who ever lived? I will be real, sometimes I sit in these services thinking, "Oh man, even if I start right now, I can never pull myself together enough to be as good as this person."

Now I know, people are going to want to share all of the great things about a person after they die. I get it. Those are the things we want to remember. I think, however, that it is not only ok, but also extremely important to acknowledge our deep humanness as well.

So, because I am kind of a morbid person and death is just on the brain, I'm going to take a moment to write my own eulogy of sorts. I'd like to think that maybe someone will take the time to read it at my funeral in the event of my death, but if not...I doubt I'll really care much.

Hi guys,

It's me. I know its weird cause I am, ya know...dead and stuff, but there are some things I thought you should know.

I want to say that, whatever wonderful things anyone else says about me today, I am just a regular old mess, just like everybody else. I struggle on a daily basis in so many ways. I could sit here and take up pages and pages telling you all the ways that I fall short, all the sins I struggle with, all the times I fail, but I won't. Mostly, what I want you to know is that even though I have fallen so short in my life, I serve a God who makes something out of nothing. He takes things that are broken and messy and makes them beautiful. All that I am, all that I have ever done, is because I have a God who loves me in a way that I am, only this side of heaven, finally able to grasp. It is God in me that does awesome things because without Him I have nothing to offer.

All of my talents, my sense of humor, my passion, my heart, everything that I am is a gift for God in me. His grace to me is not without effect. He has lavished His blessing and mercy in my life with such a bounty I cannot express it. I am completely sinful and He is completely good. 

But Christ took my sin to the cross and because of that I can say with complete confidence that, if I am gone from this world, I am kneeling in the presence of my Savior. My life is now complete. I am now finally whole.

Family and friends, I love you more than words can express, but do not be sad for me. Rejoice with me. I hope that I have lived my life in a way that you have know doubt where I stand. I hope today, while you may miss me on this earth your heart is smiling with this thought, "Yes, she is finally home, she is with her Jesus. She always loved Him so." 

More than anything I want to tell you about my Jesus. He is the answer to every question. He is hope in the face of every heartache. He is strength when you are weak. He is courage when you are afraid. He is everything. Do not miss the chance to know Him. Fling yourself into His arms and let Him carry you through whatever this life tosses at you. He will never leave, never fail, never turn His back on you. He is relentlessly faithful, unconditionally loving and cannot help but to be good. Give Him your whole heart, not part of it, all of it. You will NEVER regret one moment that you spend passionately following Jesus.

The only regrets I have in this life, are the times I failed to listen to my Savior's voice.

I don't know how much life I will live after writing these words, but I know this; no matter how broken the road, or how many times I fall along the way, I will keep getting up and running after Christ. I want to pour out this whole earthly life getting to know more and more about Jesus and following wherever He leads.

"And when my spirit clothed immortal, wings it's flight to realms of day. This my song through endless ages, Jesus led me all the way."







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my broken

Image
This weekend, my little peanut Daniel broke his thumb. Now he gets to spend the next several weeks in a cast. Saturday morning I had gone to spend the day with him. He and his sister were playing contentedly in the play room and he come to me with a forlorn look on his little face. "It's not fair." He declared in his 5 year old sensibility. "What's not fair?" I asked. "I can't play like I want to because my arm broken." My heart hurt for him. He just wanted to be...normal again. I pulled in up in my lap and cradled him like I did when he was a much smaller boy. Then I told him this: "No pal, it's not fair and I know it stinks that you will have to wear a cast for a while. But you know what? I bet none of the other kids in your class have a cast like yours do they?" He shook his head. "So that's actually pretty cool. You're the ONLY kid with a cast like yours. And you can still play it will just be ...
Read more

reconnect

As I grow older and continue to seek after the Lord, I am amazed how I, how am much an extravert, crave stillness. I crave solitude. I crave silence. This weekend, I turned off much of the noise, put my phone on do not disturb and spent time in stillness and living a simpler form of life. It was lovely. It was necessary. On Saturday afternoon I hung in my hammock in my brothers back yard and read to my nephew from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. As I read, I was stricken by the imagery. It was beautiful and eloquent yet simple.  I crave simple, more than I ever realized. In disconnecting for much of the weekend, yes, I missed chatting with my friends, but that was all I missed.  As I reconnected today and stepped back into all the pressures of regular life, I couldn't help wishing I were in my hammock in the woods reading CS Lewis or LM Montgomery. I think this has all been a lesson in balance. In order to connect well, I need to balance that conne...
Read more

whatever

This week has been ridiculously, unseasonably hot. I have spent way too much time complaining about and avoiding the heat. This morning as I was leading worship for church we sang the old stand by 10,000 Reasons. As we sang the first verse it struck me once again. The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning,  It’s time to sing your song again. Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, Let me be singing when the evening comes. That word, whatever.  That’s a word that is said flippantly all the time but when you put it in the context that song is saying it in, it’s huge. Whatever. Not just a few things that may come into our days. WHATEVER may pass and WHATEVER lies before. After that I taught my Sunday school class a song. This song talks about following Jesus under any circumstance. There is a verse in it that really tugs at my heart. It says, When I find myself so far from home And You lead me somewhere I don't wanna go Even in my d...
Read more