self care
As I was working tonight...I had to laugh. As I mentioned I am training staff on our new software system for client data tracking. (Yes it IS as exciting as it sounds.)
As I was doing this I was also scurrying around sorting piles and digging out old paper of this and that. I was pitching things out, organizing and generally setting my world in order. It needed to happen. For weeks and weeks I have been RUNNING around like a chicken with my head cut off and the piles have been growing.
So what made me laugh tonight you ask?
Well as I was doing this I was also training one of our newer staff and she said, "Wow Ms. Linda, you're a really organized person."
Ha!
I mean I really WANT to be, but the very nature of what I had to do at that moment spoke to the fact that I am NOT.
Something that I have been thinking about a lot this New Year is balance and self care.
I struggle with both of gross things very much. I tend to be on one end of the scale or the other when it comes to balance. Either I am a MASSIVE disaster or I have it all together. There's no in between.
Similarly I really struggle with self care in all forms. I am a fixer and a caregiver from wayyyyy back. I forget to take care of myself.
That's one of the reasons I let my health get so out of control. I was my last priority. I ran in a frantic rush to help everyone else but didn't take time to help myself with healthy food choices. Moreover I didn't take time to help myself by dealing with the emotions that pushed me to negative food choices. I didn't take time to exercise. Those things are STILL a struggle and what causes the biggest battles? When I get busy "serving" others.
It's not just the weight though. It's the same reason at the age of 30 I had start learning how to be a girl and care for "all the things". I would always act like it would be selfish for me to pamper myself with a beauty treatment but never took the time to recognize that I was ignoring my femininity. I didn't recognize that it was ok and even GOOD to embrace my godly femininity and take care of it.
Now I struggle to do those things. I'm not good at them. But I want to be.
This new year and far as girly stuff I even went so far as to make a weekly schedule.
Things like Monday, mask day etc.
We are a week into the new year and I have been BOMBING. I think I did three of the 7 BUT, I am not giving up.
I'm realizing that to find balance, I have to embrace self care.
And self care takes many forms. It's the things I've started doing months ago like praying and being in the word. It's taking time to write. It's eating healthy and drinking water.
It's also, painting my nails so I don't bite or peel them when I get stressed.
It's also moisturizing and doing physical maintenance.
It's taking time to put even just a little make up on everyday so I feel more confident.
It's cleaning and organizing so my life remains structured.
I'm not good at self care.
It doesn't come naturally to me BUT...I am trying to learn.
I'm a work in progress :)
As I was doing this I was also scurrying around sorting piles and digging out old paper of this and that. I was pitching things out, organizing and generally setting my world in order. It needed to happen. For weeks and weeks I have been RUNNING around like a chicken with my head cut off and the piles have been growing.
So what made me laugh tonight you ask?
Well as I was doing this I was also training one of our newer staff and she said, "Wow Ms. Linda, you're a really organized person."
Ha!
I mean I really WANT to be, but the very nature of what I had to do at that moment spoke to the fact that I am NOT.
Something that I have been thinking about a lot this New Year is balance and self care.
I struggle with both of gross things very much. I tend to be on one end of the scale or the other when it comes to balance. Either I am a MASSIVE disaster or I have it all together. There's no in between.
Similarly I really struggle with self care in all forms. I am a fixer and a caregiver from wayyyyy back. I forget to take care of myself.
That's one of the reasons I let my health get so out of control. I was my last priority. I ran in a frantic rush to help everyone else but didn't take time to help myself with healthy food choices. Moreover I didn't take time to help myself by dealing with the emotions that pushed me to negative food choices. I didn't take time to exercise. Those things are STILL a struggle and what causes the biggest battles? When I get busy "serving" others.
It's not just the weight though. It's the same reason at the age of 30 I had start learning how to be a girl and care for "all the things". I would always act like it would be selfish for me to pamper myself with a beauty treatment but never took the time to recognize that I was ignoring my femininity. I didn't recognize that it was ok and even GOOD to embrace my godly femininity and take care of it.
Now I struggle to do those things. I'm not good at them. But I want to be.
This new year and far as girly stuff I even went so far as to make a weekly schedule.
Things like Monday, mask day etc.
We are a week into the new year and I have been BOMBING. I think I did three of the 7 BUT, I am not giving up.
I'm realizing that to find balance, I have to embrace self care.
And self care takes many forms. It's the things I've started doing months ago like praying and being in the word. It's taking time to write. It's eating healthy and drinking water.
It's also, painting my nails so I don't bite or peel them when I get stressed.
It's also moisturizing and doing physical maintenance.
It's taking time to put even just a little make up on everyday so I feel more confident.
It's cleaning and organizing so my life remains structured.
I'm not good at self care.
It doesn't come naturally to me BUT...I am trying to learn.
I'm a work in progress :)
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