i'm fine

I started writing something else once again tonight but the words didn't seem to flow.

I have several thoughts on what I could write but nothing is materializing into coherent eloquence.

Yesterday, I ended my post by saying tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it...yet.

I think sometimes when we consider a fresh start that comes with a new day we get disappointed if we don't just CRUSH the new day.

As I was thinking back today about how yesterdays tomorrow has gone, it wasn't bad. It wasn't exactly stellar either, it was just kind of...a day.

I overslept but managed to get a run in this morning. Work was rather middle of the road, nothing dramatic, nothing ridiculously awesome. Even my "macros" for my food tracking were kind of just alright. I nailed some areas and totally missed others.

All and all it was a pretty average day.

Not exactly the dramatic butt kicking that I wanted to give this day when I fell asleep last night, but I didn't cry on the floor of my office even once.

Have you ever noticed how when you ask someone how they are doing they will often say, fine or ok, but its usually a copout for "my life is falling apart" because nobody wants to let it all out and be the crazy pants?

When I talk to my cousin Laura, if either of us ever say we are "fine" or "ok" the other tends to jump straight in to figure out what is wrong.

But today...I'm fine.

I am not over the top with joy and success, but I am not sad or feeling like a failure.

I am content.

I did the best I could with what I had today and sometimes my best is amazing. Sometimes however, its just average. Sometimes, its just fine.

I am smiling as I write this because of how ok I am with this. Being a person who is constantly comparing herself to others, I also feel the need to always be excelling at the things I am doing. I am sitting here, typing these words smiling because you know what?

This post isn't anything special. This day wasn't anything special. I didn't excel or shine or do anything really extraordinary and that is fine.

In fact, I think for me, the very fact that it is fine and I am ok with it, is the first extraordinary thing I have done all day. It is out of character for me. Do you know what that means?

In some tiny way...I have grown today.

And I think thats just fine :)

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