sitting in the mess

My words got lost yesterday. I wrote some, but I don't remember where. I am tired. 

It has been a long, full and somewhat draining week. I am exactly sure why, but it has.

I will say this, this week a set a few visible and measurable goals for myself and hey were good for me. I worked hard and saw them through. Yes, I may still be trudging thing my room past baskets of laundry that need to be handled. Yes the other side of my bed my currently be occupied by books, notebooks and a few clean laundry items. 

But for some reason those piles that are stressing me out just a tinge are also a valuable reminder to me. 

Sometimes life is messy and I so desperately want to fix it and clean up the mess. But sometimes I need to take my eyes off the mess and focus on something else. No, it doesn't make the mess go away. Yes, eventually the mess needs to be cleaned up. Sometimes, however, it's ok to admit, I just don't have what it takes to fix this right now! 

We shouldn't wallow in it but I think there are moments to sit in the mess and realize that life isn't about perfection. It's about small steps of obedience.

I'm tired. I'm imperfect. My life is a bit messy right now. 


That's ok. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my broken

Image
This weekend, my little peanut Daniel broke his thumb. Now he gets to spend the next several weeks in a cast. Saturday morning I had gone to spend the day with him. He and his sister were playing contentedly in the play room and he come to me with a forlorn look on his little face. "It's not fair." He declared in his 5 year old sensibility. "What's not fair?" I asked. "I can't play like I want to because my arm broken." My heart hurt for him. He just wanted to be...normal again. I pulled in up in my lap and cradled him like I did when he was a much smaller boy. Then I told him this: "No pal, it's not fair and I know it stinks that you will have to wear a cast for a while. But you know what? I bet none of the other kids in your class have a cast like yours do they?" He shook his head. "So that's actually pretty cool. You're the ONLY kid with a cast like yours. And you can still play it will just be ...
Read more

reconnect

As I grow older and continue to seek after the Lord, I am amazed how I, how am much an extravert, crave stillness. I crave solitude. I crave silence. This weekend, I turned off much of the noise, put my phone on do not disturb and spent time in stillness and living a simpler form of life. It was lovely. It was necessary. On Saturday afternoon I hung in my hammock in my brothers back yard and read to my nephew from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. As I read, I was stricken by the imagery. It was beautiful and eloquent yet simple.  I crave simple, more than I ever realized. In disconnecting for much of the weekend, yes, I missed chatting with my friends, but that was all I missed.  As I reconnected today and stepped back into all the pressures of regular life, I couldn't help wishing I were in my hammock in the woods reading CS Lewis or LM Montgomery. I think this has all been a lesson in balance. In order to connect well, I need to balance that conne...
Read more

whatever

This week has been ridiculously, unseasonably hot. I have spent way too much time complaining about and avoiding the heat. This morning as I was leading worship for church we sang the old stand by 10,000 Reasons. As we sang the first verse it struck me once again. The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning,  It’s time to sing your song again. Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, Let me be singing when the evening comes. That word, whatever.  That’s a word that is said flippantly all the time but when you put it in the context that song is saying it in, it’s huge. Whatever. Not just a few things that may come into our days. WHATEVER may pass and WHATEVER lies before. After that I taught my Sunday school class a song. This song talks about following Jesus under any circumstance. There is a verse in it that really tugs at my heart. It says, When I find myself so far from home And You lead me somewhere I don't wanna go Even in my d...
Read more