helpless

I can't lie. Today I feel like I am failing all the things. 

Last night, I had a blast with my friends. We laughed, sat by a campfire, watched one...maybe two shorting stars, ate s'mores, laughed...did I mention laughed? It was great fun. Somewhere in the night however, out of the blue, I got so sick. I spent part of the night crouched miserably off the floor of the bathroom. I hate it because I don't get a lot of days off just for fun and today was supposed to be one.

But today I feel like I have just bombed the day. I went to a parade this morning and barely moved. I went to a picnic I was supposed to help with this afternoon and basically crashed in my hammock. I got sunburnt, ate pretty much only carbs today and cannot muster up the strength to work out for the first time in 21 days. 

I'm struggling as I lay in my bed, still feeling miserable to let it go. I know that pushing myself with not make things better. But still I don't like it.

I dislike being sick because I feel helpless. 

I really dislike feeling helpless. 

I want to be strong and able but sometimes in order to be strong and able you have to let yourself be weak. 

Today I am weak. It's not my favorite thing but I will try to see the grace in it.




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