Miss Alice
I wrote a week or so ago about a client of mine that I spent the afternoon with, taking her to the doctor. Since then our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds as she has learned to trust me. During this time, I have learned many things about my relationship with the Lord from her. I meant to write one of those things last week but life happened and I didn't so here are some lessons that I have learned from my friend who for the sake of anonymity I shall call Alice.
I see a great deal of parallel between Alice's relationship with me and my relationship with the Lord.
Whenever I happen to pass Miss Alice in the hallway she calls my name, usually for no reason in particular.
"Miss Linda!!!!'
It is always said with an intense sense of urgency and then followed by something like.
"Wouldn't it suck to be a banker?"
I struggle to be as patient as I can with her and say things like,
"I'm not sure Alice, I have never been a banker."
On and on it goes.
This is the first thing I am learning from her. I am suprised at the level of patience that I have with her. Sometimes, she says very mean things. She has told me I ate poop off the floor, cursed me and called me almost every name but a child of God. Yet, somehow, I have patience and compassion for her that I cant really explain the majority of the time.
Not always, trust me I have hid from her, rolled my eyes at her, even run as she was behind me in the hall calling my name. Those are things my Lord would never do. He is unfailingly patient with me.
Last week was Miss Alice's Birthday. For a week leading up to it, she asked me over and over again if I thought she might have a cake. When her birthday rolled around, my office mate and I who interact with her more than anyone else, arranged for her to not only have a cake, we had two cakes chocolate and vanilla. We gave her a card, put candles in the cake and the whole dining room sang happy birthday to her. It was a precious moment. She smiled like I have never seen her smile.
Shortly after lunch time, after we had not only given her what she asked for but infinitely more, something broke in her. She became very agitated, she paced back and forth saying,
"I didn't want a birthday cake, I never even asked for one."
She ripped up the card that had been signed by several people an threw it in the trash.
I didnt feel any anger or frustration that she had done this. Instead, I felt bad for her. I had celebrated her and given her immeasurably more than what she had asked for but she couldnt find joy in what she had been given.
How many times to a harrass God to "give" me something. How many times to I ask Him over and over to provide in some way and when He does and provides even more than what I asked for, I cannot see the gift that it is.
I have to think back on my childhood prayers for patience. Moments when I would sit in my youth group Bible study and give a heavy sigh and say "Just pray that I'll have patience" when I didnt know what other request to offer because my life was so charmed. HA! What a laugh. The Lord answers all of our prayers, everytime, in His own way I prayed for patience in my teens and Jesus made me a single thirty three year old who works with people like Alice.
See? More than I could have ever aked for.
I could rage and "tear up the card" or I can see the gift that it is. The choice is mine.
The third lesson that I have learned from Miss Alice is something that I have already been writing about the last few days.
It's friendship.
Yesterday I took Alice for another appointment. The therapist insisted on meeting with her alone because of confidentiallity and this made Alice very nervous. As we walked back to the shelter she told me over and over how uncomfortable she had been. I tried repeatedly to assure her that she was safe and that I wouldnt take her anywhere where they would harm her.
She paused and thought and said,
"I guess you wouldn't Miss Linda, because you are my friend. That why I wanted you with me Miss Linda, you are my friend and I trust you."
Alice is a fixture at our mission. She has been here as long as I have and longer still. Almost everyone knows her at least by site or by the fact that she is always calling people mean names or reporting that something had been stolen from her. So the progress that has been made with her over the last few weeks has been noticed by many people outside of the women's division.
Yesterday a man from our maitenance team stopped me and said,
"I have notived you and Alice have developed a friendship."
You see, our friendshup has changed her behavior. Slowly, gently, she is finding the help that she needs because I am so much more than just her friend. I am her case manager. I am helping her manager her medication, getting her where she needs to be, digging into the things that have caused her to be where she is and trying to help her find the way out. But the closer she draws to me in relationship as a friend, the more I am able to do for her.
Its the same with my Savior. The closer I draw to Him, the more He is able to address the issues that need to be addressed in my life. Jesus is my friend. The deepest and most faithful friend I have. I am very likely the deepest and most faithful friend Alice has had in a long time.
Through that friendship, the foundation for change can be laid. Through friendship a trust in the character or our friend is established and we can walk in confidence knowing that a genuine and trustworthy friend would never bring us harm.
I would never harm Alice, even when I force her to do hard things.
Same goes for Jesus.
"Miss Linda!!!!'
It is always said with an intense sense of urgency and then followed by something like.
"Wouldn't it suck to be a banker?"
I struggle to be as patient as I can with her and say things like,
"I'm not sure Alice, I have never been a banker."
On and on it goes.
This is the first thing I am learning from her. I am suprised at the level of patience that I have with her. Sometimes, she says very mean things. She has told me I ate poop off the floor, cursed me and called me almost every name but a child of God. Yet, somehow, I have patience and compassion for her that I cant really explain the majority of the time.
Not always, trust me I have hid from her, rolled my eyes at her, even run as she was behind me in the hall calling my name. Those are things my Lord would never do. He is unfailingly patient with me.
Last week was Miss Alice's Birthday. For a week leading up to it, she asked me over and over again if I thought she might have a cake. When her birthday rolled around, my office mate and I who interact with her more than anyone else, arranged for her to not only have a cake, we had two cakes chocolate and vanilla. We gave her a card, put candles in the cake and the whole dining room sang happy birthday to her. It was a precious moment. She smiled like I have never seen her smile.
Shortly after lunch time, after we had not only given her what she asked for but infinitely more, something broke in her. She became very agitated, she paced back and forth saying,
"I didn't want a birthday cake, I never even asked for one."
She ripped up the card that had been signed by several people an threw it in the trash.
I didnt feel any anger or frustration that she had done this. Instead, I felt bad for her. I had celebrated her and given her immeasurably more than what she had asked for but she couldnt find joy in what she had been given.
How many times to a harrass God to "give" me something. How many times to I ask Him over and over to provide in some way and when He does and provides even more than what I asked for, I cannot see the gift that it is.
I have to think back on my childhood prayers for patience. Moments when I would sit in my youth group Bible study and give a heavy sigh and say "Just pray that I'll have patience" when I didnt know what other request to offer because my life was so charmed. HA! What a laugh. The Lord answers all of our prayers, everytime, in His own way I prayed for patience in my teens and Jesus made me a single thirty three year old who works with people like Alice.
See? More than I could have ever aked for.
I could rage and "tear up the card" or I can see the gift that it is. The choice is mine.
The third lesson that I have learned from Miss Alice is something that I have already been writing about the last few days.
It's friendship.
Yesterday I took Alice for another appointment. The therapist insisted on meeting with her alone because of confidentiallity and this made Alice very nervous. As we walked back to the shelter she told me over and over how uncomfortable she had been. I tried repeatedly to assure her that she was safe and that I wouldnt take her anywhere where they would harm her.
She paused and thought and said,
"I guess you wouldn't Miss Linda, because you are my friend. That why I wanted you with me Miss Linda, you are my friend and I trust you."
Alice is a fixture at our mission. She has been here as long as I have and longer still. Almost everyone knows her at least by site or by the fact that she is always calling people mean names or reporting that something had been stolen from her. So the progress that has been made with her over the last few weeks has been noticed by many people outside of the women's division.
Yesterday a man from our maitenance team stopped me and said,
"I have notived you and Alice have developed a friendship."
You see, our friendshup has changed her behavior. Slowly, gently, she is finding the help that she needs because I am so much more than just her friend. I am her case manager. I am helping her manager her medication, getting her where she needs to be, digging into the things that have caused her to be where she is and trying to help her find the way out. But the closer she draws to me in relationship as a friend, the more I am able to do for her.
Its the same with my Savior. The closer I draw to Him, the more He is able to address the issues that need to be addressed in my life. Jesus is my friend. The deepest and most faithful friend I have. I am very likely the deepest and most faithful friend Alice has had in a long time.
Through that friendship, the foundation for change can be laid. Through friendship a trust in the character or our friend is established and we can walk in confidence knowing that a genuine and trustworthy friend would never bring us harm.
I would never harm Alice, even when I force her to do hard things.
Same goes for Jesus.
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