worthy
I was just working on my reading for my book club/Bible study tomorrow night. I decided to start at the beginning and reread what we have read so far. I am glad I did.
I was thinking about something this after noon and just now as I was reading the words brought it to life.
Nearly six months ago now, I started on a journey to surrender my life mind, body and spirit to Jesus. As I have mentioned. It has been a BUMPY ride so far.
I'll be honest, I think that I probably believed when I started that at this point in the road, I would look physically different. I don't really. My hair is slightly longer and yes I HAVE shed a few pounds but nothing of grand significance.
Perhaps the reason I believed this was because I believed the biggest problem I had was being overweight. If my body changed, my mind and my spirit would. I was starting from the outside and working in.
I know I said words about longing to be changed from the inside out, and I am sure I meant them, but to me the outside was the most significant problem. I have spent the last 6 months learning differently. I realize that my most significant problem was that I did not believe I was worthy.
Some of the words that struck me and set me to this keyboard tonight were these:
This morning in Sunday school class, I was practicing with the kids on their song for our Easter Musical, Good Good Father. They are all early elementary but strong singers and I was working on teaching them two part harmony. As they sang, I began to sing a third part over top of them and what resulted was something pretty awesome for kids that young.
I took the teachable moment to talk to them about why harmony is so beautiful. It is the difference in the notes that makes the harmony work. If we all sang the same notes, it would be boring. Then we went to Corinthians and talked about how all the members of the body play an important role. We all have an important role to play.
I want to play mine with excellence.
Yes, I still want to change what my outside looks like through diligence and obedience to the Lord, but now I find myself grateful that the progress has been so slow. I needed to know that my worth lies far beyond my outer appearance, an appearance that I have hated at times in my life.
My worth lies in all the my Savior says I am.
My worth lies in all that He can use me for when I surrender to Him.
My worth lies in the eyes and the arms of my Savior and no other place.
You see, if I had changed drastically in my outer appearances first, I may have believed (perhaps without even realizing it) that my worth comes from my success in that.
But my beauty lies far within, in the deep places of my heart that only Jesus sees and knows. It is a beauty that cannot be taken away. It is a beauty that rests firmly in the hands of a God who only makes beautiful things.
On this journey the Lord has quieted my anxious spirit and mind in ways I cannot fully explain yet. He has dug things from the deep caverns of my heart and brought me to a place of deeper contentment then I have ever known.
I was thinking about something this after noon and just now as I was reading the words brought it to life.
Nearly six months ago now, I started on a journey to surrender my life mind, body and spirit to Jesus. As I have mentioned. It has been a BUMPY ride so far.
I'll be honest, I think that I probably believed when I started that at this point in the road, I would look physically different. I don't really. My hair is slightly longer and yes I HAVE shed a few pounds but nothing of grand significance.
Perhaps the reason I believed this was because I believed the biggest problem I had was being overweight. If my body changed, my mind and my spirit would. I was starting from the outside and working in.
I know I said words about longing to be changed from the inside out, and I am sure I meant them, but to me the outside was the most significant problem. I have spent the last 6 months learning differently. I realize that my most significant problem was that I did not believe I was worthy.
Some of the words that struck me and set me to this keyboard tonight were these:
"This is a love story, like all my favorite stories. It's a story of letting yourself be loved, in all your imperfect, scarred, non-spectacular glory." Shauna Neiquist (Present Over Perfect)Because I felt unworthy of love, I struggled to let others love me and struggled to love myself. Over the last 6 months, the Lord has spoken my value over my soul. He has reminded that I am beautiful and worthy of love not just from others but from myself. I have infinite value in the eyes of Jesus. I do not earn it by how talented I am, or how hard I work. I don't have to make myself into something or shove myself into any molds in order to measure up. I simply have to be who He made me to be, because that is pretty great.
This morning in Sunday school class, I was practicing with the kids on their song for our Easter Musical, Good Good Father. They are all early elementary but strong singers and I was working on teaching them two part harmony. As they sang, I began to sing a third part over top of them and what resulted was something pretty awesome for kids that young.
I took the teachable moment to talk to them about why harmony is so beautiful. It is the difference in the notes that makes the harmony work. If we all sang the same notes, it would be boring. Then we went to Corinthians and talked about how all the members of the body play an important role. We all have an important role to play.
I want to play mine with excellence.
Yes, I still want to change what my outside looks like through diligence and obedience to the Lord, but now I find myself grateful that the progress has been so slow. I needed to know that my worth lies far beyond my outer appearance, an appearance that I have hated at times in my life.
My worth lies in all the my Savior says I am.
My worth lies in all that He can use me for when I surrender to Him.
My worth lies in the eyes and the arms of my Savior and no other place.
You see, if I had changed drastically in my outer appearances first, I may have believed (perhaps without even realizing it) that my worth comes from my success in that.
But my beauty lies far within, in the deep places of my heart that only Jesus sees and knows. It is a beauty that cannot be taken away. It is a beauty that rests firmly in the hands of a God who only makes beautiful things.
On this journey the Lord has quieted my anxious spirit and mind in ways I cannot fully explain yet. He has dug things from the deep caverns of my heart and brought me to a place of deeper contentment then I have ever known.
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