hard to love

Tonight, a client made me cry.

This frustrates me because I am pretty tough. I have thick skin. I am strong and know who I am in Christ. I don't need to take things personally.

But tonight I did.

I was at the end of myself.

I haven't been feeling amazing. I worked very hard the lasts few days getting my grandmother moved and also keeping up with my work. I'm tired.

The client told me things about how selfish I am. She yelled in my face about how bad I am at my job. She told me that I never once helped her. She told me I am bad at my job and just come to work to make people miserable. She told me I couldn't possibly be a Christian because I am so awful.

I DO have thick skin.

I don't waver when I am being cussed out.

I can take a lot of nonsense but tonight, it hurt.

It's moments like that that people are the hardest to love. There is a very real part of me that wants to walk away and wash my hand if them.

I stood there dumbfounded tonight as she told me I had never done anything for her as I remembered specific moments in when I had poured myself out for her.

I wanted to be indignant.

I wanted to be ANGRY.

I wanted to run through the litany of every moment I know that I had helped her.

But it wouldn't have helped.

Now, hours later, laying in my bed trying to keep these weary eyes open long enough to write this, something has occurred to me.

This client, who was so angry at me, isn't so different from me...or you.

Not when we consider how we treat the Lord.

After all He has done for us, we push him away, or blame him. We can't seem to remember the good. We become difficult and hard to love.

Yet he is longsuffering with us.

He keeps reaching out even when we really don't deserve it.

I want to be like him.

Show me how to love the unlovable Lord.