learning my limits

I won't tell you where I am writing this from, all you need to know is that it's silly. It's the absolute definition of multi tasking.

I am writing late because I got distracted with silly things last night and proceeded to fall asleep.

I slept in my clothes and never turned off the light.

I had a lot of things I hoped to get done this week. Some of them happened and some of them didn't. I'll be honest, a lot off them didn't. I have been so tired and so dragged in every direction it has been hard to keep my heart from becoming overwhelmed.

I am not getting over my flu and I know it is because I am NOT resting.

And so, I have had to simply let some things go in order to keep my heart from becoming overwhelmed.

I have never thought of myself as a perfectionist but, it turns out I am. Perhaps it's not perfectionism but really more just a fear of failure. A fear of letting people down.

But guess what.

I am human and I fail.

It doesn't mean I don't try hard.

Little by little I am learning my limits and my helplessness. And little by little I am learning to be ok with that.

And you know what? That's a big deal.

This week, I didn't get all the projects done, but the world is still spinning and they haven't gone anywhere. Yup, I haven't been perfect, but that's ok.

I've survived.

Someday I hope to go beyond survival into thriving in my imperfection. To a place where I can say, yup, "I just had to let that one go" with the confident knowledge that that is totally ok.

Like I keep saying. It's a journey. An imperfect one.

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