snot
I was asked the same question multiple times this afternoon. It was a deep and pressing question.
Are you ready for it....?
It was...
What's that on your shoulder, Linda?
The answer...
SNOT.
Since about 11:15 this morning, I have been walking around with a stain of snot on my shoulder.
In my current position, I encounter this much less than I used to but today it couldn't be helped. I was on a mission to finish my end of month stats and needed to ensure that this would accomplished before a noon meeting. I had one last number that needed to be gathered and as I went to get them I passed into an area of the building where the mothers frequently sit with their small children during the day if they are not otherwise engaged.
As I entered the area there was NO escaping the sound of a screaming child. This child was inconsolable and its mother was no where to be found. Several ladies were gathered around him, staff and client alike. I asked who was in charge of this little tike and one frazzled looking VERY pregnant woman claimed the responsibility. She was babysitting while the little guys mom was out taking care of some business.
After watching several people scramble for a minute or two, I could stand it no more. I walked straight over and took the child from another staff who was holding him precariously as he kicked and screamed.
As I looked at his weary little face, crocodile tears STREAMED down it and snot gushed from his nose. He calmed for a second and laid his head on my shoulder. At this moment a very helpful client noticed the snot and attempted to clean it before my shirt got soiled and the screaming started all over again.
"Just leave it." I finally instructed as I began to walk away from the crowd.
In the back of my mind was a deadline, numbers and a meeting that had to be seen to, but in my arms was a scared exhausted little feller who needed to be comforted. I knew that I had the patience to comfort him.
I have soothed many screaming. I have walked the floors through the night with a colicky or unsettled child more than some mothers. When I was still working third shifts and my nephew was very little, if you asked him what Aunt Linda's job was he would say,
"She rocks the babies."
Today, I walked, sang, bounced and rocked and soon this inconsolable little chap was relaxed and then asleep in my arms. This is an act that comes very natural to me. I rock the babies. Its what I do.
Inevitably, when this happens and other people witness it, some well meaning person always say,
"You're going to be a wonderful mother someday."
I don't know if that true.
I don't know because, it takes much more than rocking babies to be a mother.
I don't know because, I may never be a mother...
Moments like today are always bittersweet for me.
I don't mind for a moment having a little snot on my shoulder. It hurt my heart to lay that little fellow back down and press on with something as trivial as adding up some numbers.
Whether or not I would ever be a good one, there is a genuine ache in my heart to mother, it doesn't even have to be my own flesh. I ache for the Lord to trust me with some little heart to guide His direction.
I wish I had some deep wisdom or victorious statement of my contentedness on this subject. I will say, I am at peace that I am walking in the will of God and trust that whatever He does it best.
Sometimes though, when someone says, "You're going to be a great mom someday," it stirs up an old familiar ache. I smile and shake my head or just say thank you, but deep in my heart there is a wondering.
Will it ever by my turn?
Whatever the answer is to that question, I will trust my Savior. He knows far better than I do.
Are you ready for it....?
It was...
What's that on your shoulder, Linda?
The answer...
SNOT.
Since about 11:15 this morning, I have been walking around with a stain of snot on my shoulder.
In my current position, I encounter this much less than I used to but today it couldn't be helped. I was on a mission to finish my end of month stats and needed to ensure that this would accomplished before a noon meeting. I had one last number that needed to be gathered and as I went to get them I passed into an area of the building where the mothers frequently sit with their small children during the day if they are not otherwise engaged.
As I entered the area there was NO escaping the sound of a screaming child. This child was inconsolable and its mother was no where to be found. Several ladies were gathered around him, staff and client alike. I asked who was in charge of this little tike and one frazzled looking VERY pregnant woman claimed the responsibility. She was babysitting while the little guys mom was out taking care of some business.
After watching several people scramble for a minute or two, I could stand it no more. I walked straight over and took the child from another staff who was holding him precariously as he kicked and screamed.
As I looked at his weary little face, crocodile tears STREAMED down it and snot gushed from his nose. He calmed for a second and laid his head on my shoulder. At this moment a very helpful client noticed the snot and attempted to clean it before my shirt got soiled and the screaming started all over again.
"Just leave it." I finally instructed as I began to walk away from the crowd.
In the back of my mind was a deadline, numbers and a meeting that had to be seen to, but in my arms was a scared exhausted little feller who needed to be comforted. I knew that I had the patience to comfort him.
I have soothed many screaming. I have walked the floors through the night with a colicky or unsettled child more than some mothers. When I was still working third shifts and my nephew was very little, if you asked him what Aunt Linda's job was he would say,
"She rocks the babies."
Today, I walked, sang, bounced and rocked and soon this inconsolable little chap was relaxed and then asleep in my arms. This is an act that comes very natural to me. I rock the babies. Its what I do.
Inevitably, when this happens and other people witness it, some well meaning person always say,
"You're going to be a wonderful mother someday."
I don't know if that true.
I don't know because, it takes much more than rocking babies to be a mother.
I don't know because, I may never be a mother...
Moments like today are always bittersweet for me.
I don't mind for a moment having a little snot on my shoulder. It hurt my heart to lay that little fellow back down and press on with something as trivial as adding up some numbers.
Whether or not I would ever be a good one, there is a genuine ache in my heart to mother, it doesn't even have to be my own flesh. I ache for the Lord to trust me with some little heart to guide His direction.
I wish I had some deep wisdom or victorious statement of my contentedness on this subject. I will say, I am at peace that I am walking in the will of God and trust that whatever He does it best.
Sometimes though, when someone says, "You're going to be a great mom someday," it stirs up an old familiar ache. I smile and shake my head or just say thank you, but deep in my heart there is a wondering.
Will it ever by my turn?
Whatever the answer is to that question, I will trust my Savior. He knows far better than I do.
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