seen

Today, I had lots of intentions of being productive. I also had a DEEP desire to do absolutely nothing. I have been pushing hard and not really sitting still for a few weeks.

Today, the laundry didn't get done. The things I thought I needed to do, still need to be done.

In some small way, I feel like I turned a tiny corner today. I rested. I took care of me.

Yes, laundry is a part of self care and I WILL do it. Today, however, I did the self care that I often let slide. I painted my nails, I did a facial mask, I used my Himalayan salt scrub and exfoliated. In a nutshell, I pampered myself a bit.

And you know what?

It felt nice.

It felt good for my skin to feel soft and look dewy. It felt nice to paint my nails a color I wasn't sure I would like. It felt nice to let my hair flow free. Even with no makeup, I found myself feeling confident and pretty.

That's a bigger deal than I can explain to you.

That is not a feeling I often have.

Today, I didn't need face paint to make me feel good. I didn't need my body to be perfect. In some strange way I learned a lot about the person I am, and the one I want to be today.

I want to be confident.

I want to feel good in my own skin. I want to feel beautiful because of who I am and how I care for myself. I want to be confident rocking ME. My style, my look, what makes ME feel great, what makes me ME.

I haven't even completely hit my first small goal, but I can feel something shaking loose. I can feel a hope that I'm not sure I realized I was missing.

I have always been "seen" by my Heavenly Father but I feel like in some tiny way, I am starting to see myself too.

I'm sure this feeling with come and go at times but today, even just for a few moments I could see it too. I could see a version of myself that my Father has always seen, but I was never really sure existed.

So maybe the laundry is still waiting to be done, there will always be time for that.

Although it wasn't against my nature to pamper myself and do all these girly things, I'm glad I did. It reminded me of the feminine, beautiful creation that my Heavenly Father made me to be.

I mentioned earlier this week that I often label myself a workhorse. I constantly remind myself that some people were made for noble purposes and I have secretly believed that I was not one of them.

I was created to be something plan and unseen in the background, getting things done with no beauty or grace to attract anyone's eye.

I know I am no supermodel or Kardashian, but today, it didn't matter.

Somehow, someway, I felt like I took a tiny step out of the background and saw myself in a new light...

The light in which the Father see's me.



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