33...and beyond

A couple days ago I read a news article about a man in Texas who felt the Lord tell him to build a dam around his house. The article said his neighbors mocked him and thought he was crazy but, low and behold, a flood came and his house was safe. It was the only one unharmed. I am not sure this article is legit, I mean, you cant believe everything you read on the internet. I, however, want to believe it is. It seems just like something my God would do. It reminded me of the story of Noah. Yesterday, was the 40th day of my year long (well technically 380 day) commitment to the Lord. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning (even though my usual "weigh day" is Monday) and found that over the course of 40 days the changes have been very slight. I am not sure what I expected to happen when I commit to do this but I have seen very little physical evidence of all the hard word I have been putting in. I know that there has been significant change to my heart however, because ...

Wednesday night, I sat up and watched history being made. At long last, the Cubs won their world series. People wept, parties and parades were thrown and joy radiated in the hearts of every Cubs fan in America. Hey, even non Cubs fans couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction that after over 100 years, "The curse had been broken." As I watched the game however, I felt some frustration. I haven't watched much TV in a while and I was sickened by the political ad's I saw. So much hate, so much division, so much tension permeating our nation. Before I fell asleep that night, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed at all the delighted posts and comments from Cub's fans. I saw a little news blurb roll across the screen from our local news station, about a 10 year old boy who was hit by a car and killing crossing a busy street. It was a tiny bit of white noise in the midst of all the celebration but it caused an uneasiness in my heart. As I lay there...

This day... I'm starting to feel like I sound like a whiner because the last week or so things have not been easy. This day...was much. Too much for me to even take the time to explain it all right now. I have an explanation and something God has taught me that I will share in the coming days, but today I can't. Today it has gone far beyond being tired or having a deep weary ache all through my body. Tonight, I have a deep painful ache in my soul and not very much to say. As I pondered what I could share that I was grateful for tonight, It boiled down to this: I am grateful that, no matter what, God is good. I am grateful that I have a good, good Father who holds us in His arms and is perfect in all of His ways.

There's a song that came out several years ago that says, What if His blessing come through raindrops? What if His healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know your near? What if my daily disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain the storms the hardest parts, are Your mercies in disguise. As I chattered with my coworker today about running, it occurred to me that for several Wednesdays in a row now, I have run in the rain. It seems that whenever I have a tiny window to squeeze my run, on one of the fuller days of my week, it always manages to rain. Once it was a TORRENTIAL downpour. Last week it was very nearly sleet, bitter, windy, cold and miserable. Today, I couldn't even bring myself to run during my normal window. I came home and crashed. I mean in bed, in a ball, wiped out, no longer conscious...CRASHED. Ever si...

I currently have a lot of thoughts spiraling about in my head. These are thoughts that I think are supposed to fit together somehow. Here's hoping I can make that happen on what braincells I have left for this day. I have, since I began this endeavor, been hovering in the Old Testament. This week I wrapped up the book of Joshua and started into the book of numbers. Here is the thing, the Israelites had a lot of enemies. In order to go into the the land that the Lord had promised them, they would have to fight some battles to accomplish this.  One of the first stops in the book of Joshua is the infamous battle of Jericho. I realized as I read it again, that I LOVE this story. Let's face it. The whole situation is basically nonsense. Can you imagine if you were headed into a battle and your leader got you all together, ya know like Braveheart style, and then announce this battle strategy: "Ok so here's the plan, we're going to line up and walk around the ci...

Today is Halloween. Let me just take a moment to share some auntie pride for a second and show you a picture of my cute little niece and nephew in their costumes. I'm dying. The cuteness is too much to even take in. The reason that I am so overwhelmed is not simply because they are so cute (I mean thats just obvious.) The thing that I find so precious is the reasoning behind both costumes. Let me just take a moment to introduce you to these little peanuts. They are my brother's children (and my lovely sister in law of course) Daniel and Gracelyn. Danny the little stud there on the left is five years old. He is nothing if not a character. Last spring at preschool they did a study that I believe was about sharks. From this point on Daniel has become genuinely obsessed with sea creatures.  I mean, we took him to the Shedd Aquarium this year and he didn't even want to stop for gas or to use the bathroom because he was THAT excited to get there.  ...

I'm going to come right out and say it. Today...I am grateful for failure. The past few days I have not been feeling that well. Beyond just the physical, I have been struggling with some emotions as well. When I get to this place I know that I have to lean into the Lord because I know my tendency to 'shut down." Once I shut down it is hard to pull myself back out of the tailspin. I don't want to do anything, frankly going for a run would be the LAST thing in the world I would want to do. I want to eat foods that are convenient and comforting, which of course are seldom good food choices. Have you ever seen a video from "The Tonight Show" of Jimmy Fallon and one of his guests playing "Slapjack"? It's a game where both contestant wear a GIANT hand and whoever wins the round of blackjack they are playing gets to SLAP the other with the giant hand. This hand is so big it is not abnormal for the contestant getting hit to fall right off their ...